we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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