Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
