I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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