I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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