It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
