apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
