I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Pants are for mortals
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
