She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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