Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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