the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
