you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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