Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
