Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
