my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
