The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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