smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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