is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
