put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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