that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
as a side note pls kill me
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