And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
