Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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