You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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