I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
