You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
