Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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