I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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