The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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