I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
