That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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