and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she looked like the before picture.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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