She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm too high and old for this...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
