the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
