You really coming over, don't trick.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
