i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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