he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
