He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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