A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
