Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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