Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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