My pussy is not your playground.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
