Non-Jews are for practice
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We just shotgunned beers for America
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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