I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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