I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
