Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
