when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
