Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
