I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
