He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
