We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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