What did we do last night that was yellow?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
