I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
