I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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