is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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