i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
