They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
